Its all about my dream

Notice my title again?

"Its all about my dream"

Had been a long long time never think about think.

But suddenly, this pop up in my mind again.

This is because of this "TVB Awards Presentation 2012".

And for sure you all will know that I'm going to talk about my "STAR" dream again.

Change to another channel.

Chinese channel.

今天说的就是我的梦想。

从我懂事以来，一直没有变过的梦想。

明星

还是一样，我想做的还是明星。

看了2012年的TVB颁奖典礼，我心里的那团火又燃起了。

我还是很喜欢舞台，很喜欢演艺。

我也觉得自己很适合。

看到每一个艺人上台拿奖时，我都有一种感动，都有一种羡慕。

为什么他们有那份勇气去追寻这个梦？

我缺少的，就是这份勇气。

真的很想当一个演技很好的演员。

人家说得发明星梦大概就是说一些人向往的明星梦吧。

可是为什不能想下人家真的很喜欢这个工作而是虚荣呢？

舞台，人生的舞台。

真的希望自己人生的舞台就是演艺圈。

有个舞台让我发光发热！

心里对演艺的热情，还是无法压抑！

02.16a.m

22.12.2012

Decision

Stay or leave?

Continue or give up?

There's such a big decision waiting for me to decide!

No.. Perhaps i should say 2 big decision waiting for me to decide. 

;(

Seriously, sometime i really do hate to make a decision.

And the decision that i hate to make are all relate with my future and life!

;(

Emo?

Not really.

Just don't know what decision should i make to achieve a better future and life.

This is woman?

Perhaps... Or I'm only the one who always face this kind of problem?

Hmmmmmm...

People always do go for the better life right?

Same here.

I just wish to be the only me.

The real me instead of changing to be another me.

Why always do force me to so something that I'm not happy with?

Why always to force me to be the fake me which not my real personalities?

I hate FAKE people!

So, please do not change me to become the one that I hate.

Or else I will hate myself too

;(

Relationship?

What you guys understand about relationship?

Hmmmm..

I mean couple larr.

Is it all relate with love only?

For me not really, is about tolerate.. Is about accept the characteristics and the personalities of your partner.

But, why my partner doesn't accept mine?

;(

What a sad case for others t hear that from me.

Seriously, getting more and more unwilling to share my story with others.

There's too much problems between me and him.

I admit that I'm not willing to tolerate more start from last week.

I just wish to be the true, real me.

Is that a fault?

I am person who like to stand in front of others to perform something.

I like to be emcee, i like to be one of the character in drama.

I love to stand on stage!

I'm that kind of girl!

Not to expose myself to be more popular, but these are the things that I like to do much!

I love my social like.

I really do like to make friends with others, organise some events and so on.

This is the true character of me!

You knew that since the day you come to me.

But, why... 

Until now you still try to change me to be someone.

;(

Damn emo because of this!

I do not like to argue with you frequently.

It drives me crazy and cannot focus in doing my revision!

A photo with a guy is that weird for you?

Just a memory snapshot between friends.

So what?

Asked my friends with same question : Will you boy allow you to take photo with guy?

All the answers are same!

YES!!!!!

Just a photo, that's all!

Sigh~

A big sigh~

How to enhance?

How to maintain?

Anyone can teach me?

I just feel like want to stop this kind of arguement.

Nonsense.

I'm tired.

And, people! Happy 20122012!

Another special day!

Appreciate it!

:)

02.52pm

20.12.2012

呻吟的心

      就因为一个微不足道的comment,普通朋友的comment,他又说了伤害我的话。发了脾气，还要不理会我的电话和信息。我累了。我想有我的自由。一封又一封的信息就只为了都回他开心，可是，却得寸进尺。我，真的累了。

      为什么？你就非要那样不可?非要一次又一次地让我自己抱着自己痛哭后，还要坚持自己的说法，还要加上一些更加伤害的话？我就是那么的不被值得？难道就不可以好好的对我？三年多的感情都这样维系，我，真的会累。我曾经以为只要我自己一个人真的肯努力，只要我肯坚持，什么都不是问题。可是，我忘记了我会累。

      这一晚，抱着自己哭了。眼泪，划过脸颊，洗干净了自己的脸。冷静下来，想了想这3年他说过伤害我的话。泪没有掉了，只是问了自己为什么那么失败，不能让他对自己好一点？眼睛哭肿了，只是在朋友面前掩饰说是自己前一天太夜睡。其实，我的心还在呻吟。只是没有人听到。远方的他，听到了吗？

      听说今天是拥抱情人节，此刻的我真的很需要一个拥抱，谁能给我？真的真的很需要。那个男人总是觉得我每次很快气消，总是觉得我很快会没事，所以一而再再而三地伤害我，他忘记了背后的我流过多少血。我的心很痛。其实很想念很想念他，可是被伤得不堪的心失去了那份勇气去想了。谁能好好保护我的心？

      前几天，某个senior信息我，竟然好像中学生那样，说想认识我什么的，觉得蛮幼稚的，没有理会太多。可是，这个时候觉得，那是候那个senior的信息，现在感觉有点讽刺。 但是，还是觉得是很无聊的信息。

      两个人的相爱其实应该是怎样的？谁能告诉我？今晚心情不是太好。我也是想要我的自由，不只是你一个人需要的，希望你也明白，我喜欢社交的生活，别绑着我，我回透不过气，这种生活3年多了，我要求并不过分，希望能明白。其实一通电话，可以令我心情好很多。至少让我笑一下。 

      今晚，不眠夜。

01.32a.m

14.12.2012

Busy weeks

Seriously, 24 hours are not enough for me.

Recently is too busy in settle my KK and academic stuff.

Drives me crazy!

Endless project, presentations and assignments will kill me!

That's university life!

People always tell me that university life if the most enjoyable life in you life.

Who told me this before?

Please stand out!

You this liar!

Just try my best to solve everything as soon as possible.

I'm neither a genius nor a superhero!

I can't settle everything at the same time.

So, please cooperate with me.

And, please do not throw the things to me at the last minutes.

I can't settle it together!

Is this the real meaning of group assignments?

T.T

Recently always do sleep late.

Around 3 or 4 o'clock.

Yesterday almost 5am only can sleep on my lovely bed.

;(

I miss my freedom much!

Luckily, yesterday succeed to register my 2nd sem timetable smoothly!

:D

Yippie!

Exactly the timetable i looking for。

But still hope that I will not using this timetable next sem.

Still have the leaving feeling.

;(

GOD, can my wish come true?

Stop here.

Rush for my final report and project again!

;(
Bye guys~

02.34pm

13.12.2012

12.12.12

Hi people, is me again.

Unbelievable that I had spent a whole night time chatting with 2 seniors.

Alvy and Celine.

Sounds weird. Because we have no any link with each other.

Just because of the CNY sponsor things, we had spent a whole night in crapping together!

:D

Hahahahaha

Anyway, a funny and awesome night!

We all actually are so 38! :P

Don’t try to deny!

Finally, settle Bazaar stuff. Hopefully everything runs smoothly start from tomorrow!

GOD blessing me. I know! Hahaha

Another thing is, keep fit plan fail again!

I had cococrunch as my supper again!

I served this together with milk.

One word : FAT!

3 more days will be prom night.

My tummy please leave me alone.

I found my partner in my prom night already.

Please do not worry about me anymore, I need not your accompany >.<

Study study and study!

Next week going to have 4 tests, 5 quizzes, 1 final report, 1 assignment!

What a pack week!

I need more time! 24 hours are too less for me!

;(

Gayau babe! You can do it!

Another thing would like to share here is, how come so many people thought I’m a banana?

I know Chinese!

I know it! Although not that expert like others lar

:P

I’m a pure Chinese, sure I know my language well

J

Between, is it good for me because others thought I’m a banana?

Hahaha

Perhaps.

Before end up my post for today, I would like to say something to you all!

Since everyone also posting 12.12.12 in facebook, I also want to shout out!!!

HAPPY 12.12.12 to everyone!

Today will be a great great day.

Hopefully I success to register the time table which I prefer later :P

Stop talking here. Head back to my book!

Not FACEBOOK but face book!

:P

Night dude!

01.21a.m

12.12.12

Busy University Life

     Maybe this is the "enjoyable" university life that mentioned by seniors before. LOL! I hate this kind of busy life much! This is because I cannot master my course subject well, therefore, i hate busy life! It wastes me a lot of time in doing others useless stuff.

     Seriously, I hate the feeling of running an event without a good preparation! It will make me crazy! Please do not repeat this kind of stupid "planning" again! Wasted me a lot of time in rushing all the things! 

     Went to Kuantan to have a deal with Sin Chew Jit Poh manager just now. It was so funny in chit-chatting with seniors. LOL! Damn funny lar them! xD But it was a tiring trip! Because i slept at 4a.m yesterday! Today rushed to the bus-stop and waited senior to fetch me to Kuantan. GOSH! I hate rushing seriously! But, don't know why i always rush here and rush there because of the only 1 reason! Over slept! >.< Gonna change my bad habit soon!

     3 weeks later will be my final exam. But, i still have not prepare anything yet. I want to get a good pointer. Will be too late to start all these things now? Hopefully i can rush all the things and catch up what lecturer had taught previously. ;( GOD bless me :(

     1 week later will be prom night. But, but, but, my diet plan still haven't success yet. Fat like a pig now! T.T Can i slim down in 5 days time? Hopefully can. :( Stop eating so much things start from now. Hopefully i can control my appetite! Ganbateh!

     Stop here. Gonna rush for my presentation slide. Good luck in my next presentation! :D




09.21p.m
08.12.2012

The another post

Finally few days ago, i forgave him.

Another starting point for us.

Should say thank you to both of us because never give up this relationship.

:)

Instead of being more complicated, we tried our best to run it smoother :)

A good try and will try to maintain and enhance it.

Because this is another best present that gave by GOD to me.

:)

And guess what i would like to talk about today?

Another show off?

hahahahaha

Previously during my form 6 time, I have no change to show off my result of performance at all.

Except for the co-curricular part.

But now, this seems to be changed!

I got the highest marks in test, i was the only 1 who get the highest marks.

And for today, what i want  to share here is, I was one of the best presenter in my TITAS presentation yesterday.

Another syok news to share out! :D

Clap hands people!

;)

Happy indeed!

Although my slides post, although i have no enough time to present all the slides that i had  prepared for more than 1 week.

But, luckily i still able to be one of them! :D

Glad to hear that from lecturer.

And finally what lecturer told me : " You are so good in your presentation!"

Thank you sir, you made my day!

But, another thing comes into my mind.

ICT presentation~

again, its presentation.

Like a cycle, keep on happening, non-stop!

Its burden me ;(

And, i have to settle down my sponsor unit stuff and mpp stuff together.

Oh man! I need a break now!

perhaps " have a KIT-KAT, have a break?" hahahaha

Suddenly received a message from 1 of the MPP, " you are the pengarah of Chocolate and Digital fair. This fair will be organised on the coming week! please rent to hall and ......."

Am i a genius?

Suddenly informed me that such a big event coming soon and now only inform me?!

And, I'm the pengarah also?!

Is that University style? o.O

But luckily this fair had been cancelled due to lack of time in preparation! :)

But, change to next year ;(

Still gonna organise that!

And I thought that's the end of my MPP stuff.....

But, this event had been replaced by another one.

and, I'm still the pengarah =.=

BAZAAR... Actually I also don't know what's that. @.@

And, this event will be held on next week also!

For 1 week time T.T

I had no time to revision already ><

Forget about that! Just try my best to squeeze some time out to prepare for my final exam.

Hopefully I can handle all these things well.

Sponsor + Bazaar = pening kepala @.@

Feel worry or my final examination right now ;(

Because i'm not expert in Programming Techniques and this subject is not a subject that you can master well.

Gonna cry soon.

Stress + tension!

Another one, is Application Development Workshop!

Another subject which kill me also!

Coding, please don't bully me anymore.

I don't want to eat ice-cream anymore after the next test.

I want to save my money and tear can?

Please be good to me ;(

3 more weeks to go.

Hope that all things will run smoothly and I can master as much as I can lar.

All the best!

Fight for a better result!

:D

I CAN DO IT! 

11.27pm

05.12.2012

不眠夜

今晚，读了很多文章。

是一晚不眠夜。

我和他，吵翻了。

他说了一句，对我伤害很大的话。

坚持了超过3年的爱情。

原来，是这样的。

与其说我难过，我会选择用”失望”来形容。

不知道该怎么面对这个困局。

这几天的他，都一直说一些伤害我的话。

难道，这样比较开心？

不过的确，我没有再怪他了。

不想以前那样的责怪。

因为，我也有错。

对不起。

可是，今天你也承认了你说得太过分。

但是，挽回不了什么，而且，相隔了那么久才来的道歉。

已经弥补不了什么。

从其中一篇文章看到了我们的影子。

里面有一段字，我思考了很久。

“這就是愛情、當一個女人不再對你吼、對你鬧。對你發脾氣，

管你這管你那時、當她沉默時，你真的在她心裡已經失去了那個不可或缺的地位了。

縱使她還愛你、但是有些東西真的變了。糾纏、看似很煩、其實是最幸福的。”

这是那个作者写的。

突然，目光在这一段字停留片刻。

这是，你要的自由吧？

要打机，要打球，要去玩，都让你去了。

偶尔撒娇想你陪陪我，那么难？

自由，我还你了。

我，也希望可以要回我的自由。

做会以前的那个真正我。

今天的伤害，已经不是对不起可以解决的事了。

顺其自然。

学会了，要保护自己多过你。

我，变自私了。

30.11.2012

04.11a.m

Unsolvable problem

It's me again.

Recently like ti visit here.

A lot of things cannot share out with saying out from mouth.

People, I'm not try to show off or what.

I just wish to have a place for me to share out my happiness.

Again, proud of myself.

Because i got the highest marks in quiz again.

But, unfortunately, this marks is not counted ;(

Due to more than half people in class get 0 mark only, our lecturer wants us to retake this quiz.

NOT fair ;((

T.T

Nevermind, i think still can keep this record right?

hahaha xD

gayau lar..

get your next highest mark again!

:D

Recently, keep on argue with him.

I'm too tired in this.

That's why i just hang off the phone call.

Because I don't want this to be happen continuously.

Damn tired!

Cried for too many times.

Tell myself to be stronger than before.

Don't just keep on try to lye on the shoulder which not belong to yourself.

Time had killed our love.

29.11.2012

08.06p.m

No title

     A lonely night, accompany by music and lappie only. I argued with him again. Because of a tiny thing. He never concerns my feeling but always does put his feeling as his priority. No matter he is the one who did something wrongly or me. At the end, my fault again. ;(

     Listening to song, my tears drop automatically. I cry. I had tried my best to control them from flowing out from my eyes. But, failed. He said something that hurt me badly again. I thought love should not count by this. I thought love should not to be maintain by this way. I thought if I put more effort, I may get the things I wish. I thought I can be the most important person in his life. I thought I'm tough enough to face the same case again. I thought I'm mature enough to handle what is love. I thought he will do something little bit more for me.

     She's not the first one to ask me think properly for my future. She also not the only one. But, I believe I can handle this well. I believe I can change his mind. I thought I can change his bad habit. I thought I will stay strong in my stand until the end. But, I'm wrong. I'm tired perhaps. I wish to have someone to lend me a shoulder, lend me an ear. Tells me that he will always stay beside me when I need him. I still believe he will do this to me some day. I still........

     What is the meaning of promise? What is the meaning of concern? What is the meaning of caring? What is the meaning of managing relationship together? What is the meaning of love?

     I thought used to this life. I tried to change for him before. Forced myself to change just want to make sure he happy all the time. I surrender now. What I can do, is that much only. I just want to be myself. The optimistic me! 

     Stop crying. Smile to myself. :) Everything will be fined after every tears dropped. :) Aim for my final better. Perhaps, I can do better!



10.10p.m
27.11.2012 

奴仆

不知道从几时开始，好像横为了钱的奴仆。

最近总是钱不够用，也不明白为什么。

就是钱包里，户口里的钱。

一天比一天少。

重点是，并不知道自己用去哪里了。

o.O

下个月，就是我的final了。

主啊，保佑我顺顺利利会回答考卷里的问题。

当然，自己也要加油！

祈祷自己每天能勤劳读书，专注学业!

Sem break时才好好地manage我的page。

赚点零钱买自己喜欢的东西给自己。

;)

当然，不希望自己变成钱的奴仆。

这样的生活，不能尽兴地过。

每天想着钱的问题，那会开心。

最近灰浆想自己大概是因为实在太缺钱用了吧。

T.T

突然，好想家。

说真的，到现在仍然还没有办法爱上这里。

没办法爱上这里的生活，这里的环境，这里的事物！

还有我的主修科目。

;(

我觉得自己还是比较喜欢management的东西。

当然，少不了我最爱的演戏！

仍然告诉自己，那只是梦~

CGPA 4.0有可能吗？

只想努力考好成绩，然后换个自己喜欢的科系继续深造。

其实我知道这个目标遥不可及，不是一般的人能做到的事。

;(

我的成绩，实在太烂了。

有关于到coding的东西，实在拿捏不到。

自己，真的没有天分，也不太感兴趣。

而且，自己也没有别人努力！

;(

怪的了谁？

不能再浪费时间了。

还是那句话：乐宜，加油！

05.38p.m

24.11.2012

Back to normal life

Hey people, please don't misunderstand the tile of the day.

Why i said back to normal life?

This is because, i had completed 2 quizzes, 2 tests, 1 project in few days time.

Gosh!

Kill me better.

GG-ed by programming techniques!

Again!

Its the biggest enemy among all my subjects. 

;(

How come you cannot treat me better instead of keep on hurting me?

T.T

Why?

But, nothing to blame actually.

Because I never love you before.

;(

So, start from this moment, will try to love you as much as I can!

Because, I want to score well!

Pass with flying colors!

Another thing is!

I think I did well in my ICT quiz today!

:D

Teehee!

Because I know how to answer all the questions except one. ;(

Feel quite sad because of this!

;(

Gonna be more hardworking.

Want to make sure myself know how to answer all questions next time!

Teehee!

Promise?

Hehe.. Perhaps~

And, i did a stupid mistake in my Fundamental Discrete Structure quiz again. ;(

I know the concept, but i wrote it wrongly.

What a sad case!

;(

Unforgivable mistake!

Make sure be careful when answering question next time! Okay?

:D

Final examination approaching.

Am I ready yet?

Obviously nope!

Especially for my programming techniques subject.

;(

Promise promise and promise again to yourself.

Accept the challenge instead of keep on run away from it!

Aim : Get at least 3.67 in this subject okay?

:D

Okay.. Test weeks finally had passed.

But, my presentation weeks and assignments weeks coming.

;(

Non-stop.

Actually, all this tasks are taking turn in torturing me

T.T

Pity me.

But, so what?!

Come on baby!

Accept your challenge! xD

Because I am Chee Lok Yee!

:: QUOTE OF THE DAY ::

Smile to face everything no matter how worst the thing is!

02.13a.m

23.11.2012