背后的故事

背后的故事

谁有兴趣？

背后的眼泪

谁会知道？

背后的心酸

谁能体会？

背后的呻吟

谁听得见？

背后的奢望

谁能实现？

姐妹们

才是我永久的依靠

这一个星期

我真的很开心

谁知道我好久没试过那么开心了？

谁知道我好久没那么尽心的玩了？

谁知道我最开心的时光就是跟你们5个在一起了?

谁知道我的心里其实是多么珍惜你们5个？

我爱你们

永永远远

我的姐妹圈圈只要你们5个

其实之前一直都想一上到云顶就跟你们5个拍大头贴，就只是我们六个，我不要其他人

每想到原来还有人看我的部落格

1.23 a.m

16.12.2009

actually blog just a place for me to say out my feelings.

no others meaning.

please don't misunderstand.

and girls

thanks for always support me in my life.

i love you.

=*

no title

sometimes, i really speechless.

CHEMISTRY

sigh~ at first i will expected i will score A in it.

but, what the...

i egt sick on the day before the exam and the day for chemistry paper.

fever, headache, feel wanna vomit.

=.=

why everytime also will sick during exam period?

i hate much!!!

i can't concentrate in my paper at all.

how can i score well?

SHIT!

i told my besties that i'm not feeling well.

but, they told me

" XXX more cham err"

"she gastric"

lolx. i'm not interest in her stuff.

she is not my gang okay?

i speechless.

i just need you guys' caring.

she just gastric, so what?

i also always gastric what.
during the exam, my sweat keep on flowing out from my body.

even i can't hold my pen properly because i didn't have enough of energy to hold it.

keep on felt dizzy.

but, who cares?

when i said it out to you.

you told me that she more pity and blahs.

even, when i telling you guys, you all can say about others things.

at that moment, i almost... cry~

but i still pretending nothing. keep on smiling to you all.

because of what?

because of you all are my besties.

the friends that are most important in my life.!

MOST IMPORTANT

anyone can care about my feelings?

i just hope to get " are you okay?" from you all.

just a simple sentences.

but, i felt quite happy because some of you asked me am i okay once finish exam.

besties, i love you all.

i just need you all.

not others.

but, i know that..

our relation not as close as before.

since she appeared.

i hate her appearance!

still i want to say that, for me, just can be friend.

but not besties.

and i really really hope that all of us can back to before.

always gather together.

just 6 of us.

is it impossible?

i don't know.

maybe

12.26 p.m

11.12.2009

actually, my heart is crying.

moodless day

finally, my biology had passed.

but tomorrow will be my account.

sigh`` i also don't know why i will take it as my subject.

suffering in exam period.

iloveyou. mybesties.

ganbateh!

fight together.

5.43 p.m

30.11.2009

untitle

moody. speechless. dull. upset.

recently, these negative feelings always appear in my life.

i dislike their apprearance. i wish to kick them away from my life.

my dearest besties. don't you all know actually now i need you all much?

don't you all know i hope that the relation between 6 of us can changed to close to each other again?

i wish that 5 of you always can stay beside me.

i wish that i can always stick with you guys happily.

i wish that6 of us can stick together to chat or having fun together.

just six of us. no others.

pity girl. how come i have this kind of mind?

but, maybe because you all really too important to me. i can't lost one of you inmy life.

you all cherish me. you all colourfull my life.

without you all. my world just left black and white colours.

my life will be imperfect without you all.

just now read jia ying's blog.

suddenly miss the time that we always ponteng to storeroom for playing or chit-chatting.

both of us be the VIP for store room already.

i miss that moment much.

she always be a good listener to me.

i love her much.

she also is the one of my best friend in my life.

i can't lost her too!

YAN JOE KEE

LEE JIA HUI

CHONG YI MAN

SIN SEE TENG

YEONG YUN NAM

CHEE LOK YEE

**besties forever**

no doubt

11.49 p.m

25.11.2009

sneezing day

sick again

fever

flu

bacteria attacked my weak body again

suffering in it

sneezing all the time

argh

finally i passed my add maths papers

hope that i can pass with flying colours ler

haha

although many of them i also don't know how to do

i hate your appearance

get out from my besties gang

you make our relation not as good as before

i'm not welcome you to drop a name in my besties' list

you just a passer by in my life

get out from here!

your childish action just make me feel annoyed.

SILENT WILL BE THE BEST WAY TO SOLVE A PROBLEM?

if you wish to, then you just continue your way.

i won't force you to change for me.

10.56 p.m

25.11.2009

21.11.2009 SATURDAY

now feeling not good.

even feeling bad.

today texted with my besties man.

she is the one who sat with me in class this year.

both of us always chit-chatting and play in class.

i love her much.

now is the spm period.

no more time and chance for us to sit in our classroom to chat for our stuff.

i miss those days.

recently, i like to tell all my stuff to her.

she is my listener.

haha.

Man, you don't know how much i love you.

haha.

XD

today, we discussed about the friendship of 6 of us.

same view with me.

no so welcome the appearance of them.

because of their attitude.

i'm agree with man.

but, she not so care about this.

but she also felt that our friendship will be not as good as before.

i also worry for it.

damn!

i hate their apprearance!

i hope that we never move our places before.

i hope that they never sit near us before.

i hope that i can kick them out of my circle.

i really beh song with their apprearance.

i repeat again.

just friends.

and you won't be my besties forever.

in my life, i just have 5 besties.

EVEN CHONG YI MAN

ZUKI YAN JOE KEE

EUNICE YEONG YUN NAM

RACHEL SIN SEE TENG

LEE JIA HUI

others, sorry to tell you.

you are not my gang!!!

i love my besties!

21.11.2009

10.59 p.m

圈圈

就是不喜欢你们进入我们的圈圈

我

并不讨厌你们

只是

我不喜欢你们的加入

我

只喜欢我们六个一起的感觉

别问为什么

不喜欢就是不喜欢

没有理由

我自己也解释不到

可能是因为人合人缘吧

我们只能是朋友

不知道几时开始

你们的加入令到我们之间好像有了一丝丝疏远的感觉了

我

真的不喜欢

我有时宁愿走开

就只是因为她们存在

并不是我不想跟你们在一起

可能你们会说那是你的问题

所以

一直以来我都没有说出来

扮到若无其事

因为

我不想我们破裂

你们是我最珍惜的朋友

小雯

小婷（siu beng)

小慧 (siu fei)

小琪

小杨

就像你们说的那样

你们活在我的小小世界

所以请别用我小小世界的称号用在他们的身上

20.11.2009

02.03p.m

my english test

dull

despair

desperate

disappointed

hopeless

moody

sad

upset

i dropped my tears

once i passed my english paper 2

my tears swelled up from my eyes

i can't controlled them from falling from my eyes

this is the first time i wrote this such of worst essay

a childish essay

simple essay

an essay that primary student also able to write it

stupid grammar

stupid language

stupid description

I HATE MY ESSAY MUCH

but

what to do?

i already passed my sucks essay

nothing that i can do except praying

GOD BLESS ME

i not satisfied with my essay at all

my A fly from my hand

i can't feel its apprearance

normally i get A or seventy something in my english paper

but

now

maybe 50 marks also can't achieve

sucks

what happened to me

I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW IS MY RESULT

=(

19.11.2009

SPM

did i try my best to do my revision?

NO

did i try my best to do my responsibility well?

NO

spm approaching

but

what i did?

watch movie

sleep

eat

play

chit chat

i never study before

now only i keep on rush and rush

try to complete my revision

but

i know i can't

i'm totally lazy

i hate myself much!!!
STRESS

sigh

everybody please wish me

good luck for my exam

sigh

gonna study again

i want my As

my spm date : 18.11.2009

5.21 p.m

12.11.2009

study time

no more play time for me now

it is a promise to myself

i want to score well

i need to do so

it is a promise to myself

a promise to my parents

i can't let them have disappointed feelings on me

i can't

i need to let them proud of me

i don't want myself to be regret some day

i wish to score all As in my sijil pelajaran malaysia (SPM)

i wish to get flying colours in my exam

i wish to get JPA much!

i wish to

but, i know i can't

because i'm too lazy

i wasted too much of time

although now only i start to be hardworking

but

it also seems nothing will change

i really had no more time to do my revision

argh!

but i stil will try my best to score as much As as i can

muahahaha

CHEE LOK YEE

trust yourself

believe yourself that you can

confidence to yourself

13 A+ please come toward me

muahaha

i'm opening my arm to welcome you all

muahaha

i love you all much

can you all notice and feel my love?

can you?

hehe

never mind.

i will prove this to you all

i will prove that i really love you all much!

okay.

stop here

i need to prove my love now~

hehe

ganbateh nehx!

8.10 p.m

25.10.2009

untitle

long time never blogging here

don't know how should i start my blog

just now

hang out with soo

both of us go for a parade

九王爷游行

not as nice as before

quite bored this year

hu~
after that, both of us go to maha maju for our supper

hu~

getting fat again

next saturday will be our graduation day

hu~

i need to be more slim to wear my pretty dress

i don't want to show all my OIL

i want to be more beautiful on that day

hu~
chee lok yee

ganbateh

try your best to be as slim as you can

now i'm really fat dou~

argh~

gonna keep fit keep fit and keep fit

these two days

not feeling so happy

don't know why

start to feel stress for my spm

argh~

my head gonna burst soon

i need to study more

i get a satisfied result

but i know i lack of time already

argh~

stop here.

continue my revision.

nights

2.32am

25.10.2009

02.10.2009

原来

之前的都是一场误会

呵呵

现在想起

还蛮搞笑的

之前

还一直误会

他还爱她

原来

是他写少一个字

所以不爱便成爱了

呵呵

他

是认真的

而我都不确定自己想怎样

是习惯还是喜欢

没有一个明确的答案

处于疑惑中

就像蕙说那样

习惯和喜欢只是一线之差

只要越过一点点

结局就不一样了

其实

我早就知道

只是

我找不到答案

也许

我伤害了你

对不起

给点时间我好吗？

你对我真的很好

只是

我怕我伤害你

更怕被伤害

所以

让我有多点的时间考虑能吗？

今天

问蕙意见

她觉得我跟他不一样

她觉得他喜欢我比习惯多

反而觉得

我习惯比喜欢多

“我有喜欢吗？”

“有”

我也不清楚

也许旁观者清吧

今天

他告诉我说

庆功宴那天

其实他有种想握住我的感觉

听到后

没有抗拒的感觉

反而

有种开心的感觉

谢谢你对我的呵护和爱戴

再给点时间我好吗？

就再一点

02.10.2009

11.10p.m

一句话

one sentence

can change any results

one sentence

may bring joyness or sadness towards you

just one sentence

everything also can change

today

mr. XXX told me that he likes me

i just felt like "huh?"

don't know what response should i gave him

he asked me whether i like him too?

i answering nothing

because i don't know

suddenly

he said let's dating

again "huh?"

you told me that you don't want dating

but now you asked me this question.

questions mark flowing in my brain again.

but suddenly

you said that you still love her

again "huh?"

i don't know what happened to you

but loves is not a joke

please respect to it

but

suddenly

my tears dropped

i can't explain to myself what cause this happen

just except its appearance

but

i look down to myself

haha

yesterday

organised a concert celebration at my house

barbeque

actually i was not so enjoy in it

maybe its not so interesting as what i imagined

maybe i was too tired

but

when i was not happy my best friend accompanied beside me

thanks

just you can noticed that i was not happy

thanks for cheering me up

i having happy time with you

really

i do enjoyed in it

but

today

you spoiled my mood

how come?

anyway

forget about it

i just want to let all the things end up here

end up in my blog space

after the one sentence

there been a thick wall between us

you can't break it down

and

i won't let you to break it down also

i wish that it will appeared forever

that's the end for us

no more story

sorry

few hours more need to go for school again

my holidays had ended up too

12.04 p.m

28.09.2009

24.09.2009

just now

mr. P called me

we chit chatting through phone

having a lot of fun

he is funny

he is the one who always accompany me these days

he also is theone who care about me

damn appreciate our relation

you're my best friend

=D

today

erm, nope

should say yesterday

i was not feeling good at tuition there

to what you had done

why need to do that?

if you really don't want to let me know something

just go ahead

tell her when i'm not around there

but not in front of me

don't do this such of things

please care about my feelings

teng know it

really not syok for that

i think you should know this type of feelings

because we all know you well

if this happened to you

sure that you will feel angry and bo syok

i know i shouldn't be like that

but i really beh syok lar man!

please don't repeat it again!
argh~

but anyway

forget about it

now i feel better

at least won't feel not syok lur

because chit chat with teng and nam just now

hehe

we play see-saw at the playground nearby my house

hehe

quite happy

and add on chatting with mr. P just now

but i really do mind about what you had done just now

please

don't repeat it again!

i hate it!

please imagine that this happen to you

sure you feel beh syok also.

hu~

continue watch movie sin

hehe

excited now

wait for bbq night

a celebration for our concert

hehe

sure have a lot of fun ler

=)

and pau ling

happy birthday to you

1.51a.m

25.09.2009

心底话

谁听得见心里头最深处的一句话？

我听不见

“噗嗵噗嗵”声音的背后

隐藏着什么?

一句哈哈大笑？

还是哭泣声？

无奈

2.24a.m

21.09.2009

20092009

happy 20092009

today is 20.09.2009

today maybe a special date

but not a special day for me

just as usual

go for meeting with me st.john's committee

tuition

slept

that's all

siens dou

never study these few days

playing playing and playing

wasting my time to do something that useless

my mood affected by someone again

don't know what you thinking at all

why suddenly will like this and sometimes like that?

weird you know?

your caring and concerning makes me feel confused

stop doing it please

i know that you are not cup of my tea

and we are not suit for each others

as what i told my besties, we won't be couple

is that what i wish?

i think so

i also don't know

but for sure

for now, i not love you at all

yesterday

you asked me that whether i love you?

my answer is you think yourself

because i really don't know how should i answer you

but i know this answer is not important right?

sometimes your caring really make me feel touching

except my boyfriend

you are the one that will make me feel want to rely on

you are the one always listen to what i want

but i keep on tell myself all of this just an illusion

suddenly feel so upset

no reason

just moody

too much of things i want to say

but i don;t know how should i say it out

just stop here

lokyee is confusing

10.34p.m

20.09.2009

my birthday celebration

these are some of the photo that we captured today

make a wish.

see~ what i am doing. =_=

me and my birthday cake

all of us =D

=_= funny look

what espression is nam?

took in west lake

birthday's present from kee. haha

my birthday cheese cake. delicious

i love this pig most!

bin and me

teng and me

huh? what happened? man and me

kuso emo. haha

joe and me

hehe. kee want us to take this picture

soo and me.

nam and me

-.- what photo is this

kee and me

i'm extremely happy today!
i never been so happy for long time ago

18.09.2009 (8.30pm) - 19.09.2009 (2.00 a.m)
thanks a lot, my beloved dears
although it was late
but
this is not a problem
important is
you guys celebrated my birthday for me
i enjoyed the celebration much
at first
i really thought today was just a celebration for finishing examination
haha

at first,
we went to Big A Kopitiam
chit chat around there
captured here and there
having a lot of fun

i having a lot of fun with you guys
full of joy
but
the things that imperfect is
hui, one of my besties
can't join us today
=(

next location
WESTLAKE
don't know suggested by who
went there for cutting cakes
capturing and chit chatting there again
haha
they say i sot jor
just like a crazy and having mental's problem geh woman
haha
no idea
because i was too happy on that moment
dancing and turning round and round
haha
i think today we captured around 200 photos
haha
crazy right?

i believed that no one can describe how happy i am
the famous writer in this world also unable to describe it
although just a simple celebration
but just because celebrated with you guys
i already satisfied with it
a birthday cheese cake
a birthday song
that's enough for me
really

this year
i got a cheese cake again
haha
thanks soo for "informing" them
i really do love cheese cakes and chocolates
haha

kee
nam
man
teng
soo
joe
bin
kong ( our camera man)
thanks for all the things that you all prepared for me today
i really do appreciate in what you all had done
that's nice

great moment with you all.
i love you all much
again
i hope that we will be best friend till the end of my life
you all
located in my heart since long time ago
i love you

you guys delighted my life
cherish my life
painted my life and memories with colours
i can't live without you guys
you guys really do important for me

THANKS GOD
for giving this such of best present in my life
the best
you guys are the present that gave by God
you guys don't know how much i love you
but
what can i say is
i really do love you guys deep from my heart


thanks again for celebrating for me
>_<
muakxxxxxxxxx

lokyee was extremely happy today !!
=D

3.33a.m
19.09.2009