ILLUSION

sick for few days.

why recently i always sick?

i prefer to use all my rest time to do my revision.

i had waste a lot of time for my resting time.

i hate it much!

yesterday, my besties come to my house.

study group.

but, sorry dear.

i unable to join you all.

i slept all the time.

they read all the time.

haha.

funny right?

seems like borrow a place for them to read only.

i prefer to join you all than sleeping.

=(

anyway, thanks for take care of me yesterday.

you all will be my besties forever!

XD

next, thanks to my dearest prs committee.

thanks for organised this such of farewell for us.

i love you all much!

i enjoyed the time chatting, capturing and joking wilth you all.

next year, ganbateh ya!

and this is for me dearest chairman, soek ting.

i know you can handle this club well.

trust yourself just like the way i trust you!

confidence yourself.

don't let yourself to be too stress.

any problem, you can find me this old biscuit geh.

haha.

i will try my best to solve the problems with you.

=)

all of this also just my illusion right?

how come it be?

what happened to me?

or all of this never happened to me?

i like him?

i don't think so.

maybe it was just a sudden feel.

or, maybe it just a illusion for me.

or it never happen before.

maybe just because of he is too caring to me.

maybe these days i was too depent on him.

i want to be miss independent start from this moment.

these days, he messages me everday.

thanks for caring me so much.

but, maybe i'm not suit for you.

maybe,what you told me before was a joke.

there are too much of maybe between us.

just now, he told me something.

it affected my mood.

sorry for simply reply you.

but i really no mood to continue texting with you.

is that means that i have some feel towards you?

i hope that i won't happen to me.

because for now, i just want to concentrate in my studies.

concentrate in my spm.

that's all for me for now.

although i'm single now, but i enjoy my life much.

** thank you, jia ying **

thanks for giving me the birthday present.

hehe.

i promise you i will open it on 14th of september.

=)

11.43pm

29.08.2009

GET A HUG FROM WHO?

where can i get a hug?

i need somebody to take care and concern me now.

i lost my mind again?

** memories **

someone told me that he just hope to get happy memories in his life.

he don't want any sad or unhappy memories.

" if in your life, you never have any sad memories, you won't know what is sad? "

" if you're not sad, how to reflect that you are happy? "

" so that's mean you don't know the meaning of happy also "

that's what i answered him.

in my life, i have too much of memories.

HAPPY

SAD

uncountable.

but the memories that i most treasure in my life, had past for a long time.

memories that full with COLOUR.

am i still living inside my memories?

or i still loving someone else?

this is the question that i keep on asking myself.

but, i can't get any answer from myself.

question mark already occupied my heart spaces.

these memories DELIGHTED my life.

his appearance teached me the meaning of happiness.

he is the one who can only grab my heart from me for now.

i can't find any others to replace him in my heart.

but,

i also not sure where's the location of my heart now.

he already threw my heart to where?

why i can't feel that you still warming or even take care of it again?

the memories between us.

he already forget about it.

totally forget.

is that a tease for me?

is that something that remind me that i just nothing for him?

ya, i think so.

never chat with sze yin for a long time.

yesterday, i texted with her till 3 something.

chat a lot of things.

we were besties before.

but some misunderstnd happened between us.

our relation not as close as before.

i enjoyed the time we texted yesterday.

what we two chatted are about love stuff and blahs.

anyway, thanks for accompany me for a whole night.

thanks.

=)

memories flying in my mind again.

do you still remember what you promised me before?

ANSWER: Did i promise anything to you? ( i think this will be his answer)

but for me,

ya.

i really do remember.

but, it just a sentence that will let someone to feel warm and sweet.

it doesn't mean anything, right?

maybe the definition of "PROMISE" for him.

but, for me,

it's not.

" PROMISE IS A PROMISE "

PROMISE will let someone to get more hurt right?

that's why i hate any promises.

if you really can do it,

please, don't simply make a PROMISE to someone.

i really do TREASURE you.

but. . .

it's too late.

.

.

.

.

.

.

承诺早已变成了泡沫

跟随着风向漂流

停在某个角落

但是

那是一个再也不属于我的角落了

1.49 P.M

24.08.2009

MY WAY TO GO

我不想再为你迷失方向

但是

你却是我的方向盘

矛盾和迷茫地寻找出路

但是

原来到最后

我还是回到来原点

早已忘记主题曲的旋律何时为你而拼奏

2.35 a.m

24.08.2009

TIAMERO

i'm not sure how should i start my blog.

i also don't know how sould i describe my mood now.

i don't know where can i express my feelings.

maybe my blog is the only space for me to express my sad feelings.

yesterday was jia ying's birthday.

again, happy birthday to her.

hang out with her just now.

hanging gang for just now.

** LOK **

** YING **

** REN **

** LOONG **

just four of us.

at first, i bought an apple cake for jia ying with tzyy ren.

after that, we went to her house just like what we plan before.

we just crapping there without as usual.

acting nothing happened.

just go out for chit-chatting.

at first, i thought i wad nothing there.

just simply play and play and play.

chit chat.

enjoying at first.

i thought i will be okay.

i'm fine.

but, my mood was affected after he took back his handphone.

wat happened?

why can't allowed me to look through inside?

any secret?

or something else?

my mood was worst!

i hope to get an answer.

what is inside his phone?

after celebration, he fetched me back to home.

but he didn't notice something.

he didn't notice my feelings.

when the time he go down to buy something.

i heard the song that the cd player playing.

jay chou's song.

in the sudden moment, my eyes full of tears.

i also don't know what happened.

i also can't explain to myself what this will happened.

he never notice that i was not happy.

when he ride on the car, my tear dropped.

he never notice that i was sad.

he never know that i'm crying.

he know nothing.

i just act like usual, just like nothing happened.

when i reached home, my tears started to drop.

i can't controll it at all.

now only i notice i really do miss him so much!

but, who cares?

even him not care at all.

i really hope that he won't saw my blog forever.

GOD, please. .

don't let him saw my blog.

i don't want both of us to be stranger again.

i hate to be stranger.

sorry, actually i try my best to treasure you before.

but, i don't know the correct way to treasure you.

i was too childish for that time.

even that i don't know how should i express my love to you.

and now,

i'm getting mature.

but, it's seems like to late to tell you

" I'M NOT THE CHILDISH GIRL ANYMORE"

maybe

TIAMERO

sick for love

原来，你不在乎的样子，

才是令人最难受的锋利刀子，

你那把刀又再次狠狠的插入我心里。

我们是最熟悉的陌生人吗？

我再也听不见你的呼吸声和心跳声了。

1.31 a.m.

23.08.2009

MY NEW TARGETS

what means by love?

any of you can tell me now?

i lost my way in love.

i love to be love.

family

friends

couple

there are so much of love in this world.

i get a lot of love in families and friends.

but, seems like i get nothing in the one i love most!

confusing in this problem.

actually is till loving him or not?

or i already forget him for a long time?

no any exactly answer for this.

L-O-V-E

a strange word for me.

actually i not reallybelieve there are true love in this world.

haha.

don't know.

i think is the time to totally forget him.

i need to rub off all the hapy moment with him now.

that's the only way to let me to accept others guys.

haha.

bla bla bla.

but for now,

i'm courting mynew target.

do you know who they are?

CHEMISTRY

BIOLOGY

PHYSICS

ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS

MODERN MATHEMATICS

CHINESE

ENGLISH

MALAY

ENGLISH SCIENCE TECHNOLOGY

ACCOUNT

MORALE

HISTORY

these are my new target.

hu~

hard to get their love.

but i will try my best.

haha.

try my best to love you all first.

gonna study now.

leave here.

=)

1.14p.m

22.08.2008

difference thinking of man and woman

just now i read my blog.
a blog that i wrote 2 years ago~
that's why i copy and paste back here.
that's just my view.
hope that all of you won't too mind about what i post here.




boyz owez say......
>>女人是善变的。。。
bt my opinion is......
>>女人善变的事情绪。。。
>>男人善变的事心。。。
>>女人会善变，还不都是为了自己爱的男人。。。


boyz oso owez say tis.......
>>女人的心真难捉摸。。。
bt 4 me ......
>>对于男人，女人的心是难捉摸。。。
>>但。。。对于女人，男人的心何尝不是更难捉摸吗？
>>因为男人总是有心事都不告诉女方。。。
>>因此。。。女方当然不知道你们在想什么啦。。。
>>你们为何不尝试打开心房把心事告诉女友。。。让她知道你们想什么。。。让她知道你的烦恼啊。。。
>>那么大家也不用互相猜测啊。。。。。。
>>不知道是因为所谓的面子还是什么。。。
>>就是不肯说出来。。。
>>是害怕吗？还是什么？
>>难道是怕女友担心？
>>如果是因为面子。。。我想暂时应该卸下你们的面子。。。
>>唉~~~其实说出来比收起来更好。。。
>>至少不会让大家猜来猜去。。。免得发生误会。。。
>>就因为你们不肯说出来才导致你们不知女人想着什么了。。。
>>因为你们不肯说出，女人也不敢讲自己的感受说出来了。。。
>>因为怕你们更加烦。。。和怕你们会不高兴和怕会骂架。。。。。。
>>怕会失去你们。。。怕会增加你们的压力。。。
>>其实女人所做的还不是因为你们这些男人。。。为了自己深爱的男人。。。


boyz owez saying tis~~~
>>你怎么一点点就生气？
4 galz.....
>>生气还不都是因为你。。。
>>生气还不都是紧张你。。。
>>生气还不都是因为在乎你所说，所做的一切一切。。。
>>生气还不都是因为你们这些男人在她们心里面有着重要的地位。。。
>>生气还不是因为她们真的真的爱着你。。。。。。。。。


其实我觉得。。。
男人有时候也比女人脆弱。。。
比女人需要安全感。。。
但。。。就是因为面子。。。
所以不愿表露出来。。。


女人。。。
可就简单了。。。
爱就爱。。。不爱就不爱。。。
没有安全感就说出来。。。
难过就哭出来。。。
爱你就表现出来。。。。。。


有时我在想。。。
女人比男人坚强得多。。。不是吗？
女人可以默默地为你做任何一切。。。
也没有一句抱怨。。。
她们愿意为了你承担一切一切。。。
她们可以为了你受别人的责骂。。。
她们愿意为你牺牲一切一切的东西。。。。。。。。。。
可是。。。男人能吗？
唉~~~或许有吧。。。
可是却很少。。。。。。。。。


其实。。。很多人认为。。。
女人遇上爱时总会变得很愚蠢，很笨。。。
但。。。我却认为。。。
女人遇到爱时会变得更伟大。。。。。。
对。。。或许她们会傻傻地爱着你。。。
但。。。她们会选择在你们男人面前变笨。。。
是因为让你们这些男人比较开心。。。比较有面子。。。
让你们能把烦恼暂时抛开。。。
在你们怀中做个小女人。。。
让你们觉得自己好伟大。。。好有用。。。。。。
所以。。。
请你们别说女人是愚蠢的动物。。。
而是伟大的动物。。。。。。。。。


女人是需要被保护和爱护的。。。
保护和疼惜女人是男人的天职。。。
我很讨厌那些不尊重女人的男人。。。
因为他们根本都没为女人想过。。。。。。
男人也是从妈妈十月怀胎生出来的啊。。。
所以你们要尊重女人。。。。。。


女人真得很需要安全感。。。。。。
她们不能缺乏安全感。。。也不能没信心。。。
所以男人需要让她们有安全感和信心。。。。。。
因为只有你们。。。
才能带给她们安全感。。。。。。


男人嘛。。。
我并不是很清楚。。。
毕竟我是女生嘛。。。。。。
哪里可能清清楚楚了解他们想什么呢。。。。。。
也许他们跟女人并没有两样。。。
也是缺乏安全感的动物~~~
但只是他们不善于表现出来。。。。。。


有人说女人婚前是爱情第一。。。
婚后是孩子第一。。。
老工也要站在一旁。。。
是酱的吗？？
我还不知道。。。或许将来我会有个答案吧。。。


其实女人还简单。。。
她们只是希望自己深爱的男人好好地爱自己。。。
疼惜自己。。。保护自己。。。爱护自己。。。
陪伴着自己。。。。。。
让她们也能好地爱他们。。。。。。
就那么简单。。。
但。。。为什么男人总把它给想得那么复杂呢？


哎哟~~~
亲爱的男人们。。。
你们该好好地站在女人角度想想了~~~~~~^^


对于男人。。。
一些简单的词句。。。
对你们而言并没有什么。。。
但。。。女人却不是酱想的。。。。
可能从你们的词句中伤到了她们你们也不知道。。。。。。
所以男人跟女人说话时的小心点咯~~~
或许有时候就是因为你们的无心之失。。。
就让女生们伤透了心。。。或不开心了。。。。。。


男生们。。。
请记得。。。
保护女生。。。爱惜女生。。。是你们的天职。。。
别让爱你们的女生伤心难过了。。。。。。。。。知道吗？
别让她们为你掉了一次又一次的泪。。。。。。。
珍惜她们。。。。。。
爱她们就别伤害她们。。。。。。
爱就要承认。。。别因为一些琐碎的事而选择离开她们或分手什么的。。。。。。
女生都有勇气不顾一切地爱你们。。。。。。
你们怎么不行呢？
男生们。。。加油！！！
我相信你们行的！！！GANBATEH!!!



勇于爱你们所爱的人！！！为了你们自己和他人的幸福而努力争取吧！！！



（这篇文章只因个人思路。。。个人看法。。。如有得罪。。。请多多包含和原谅。。。）

HEADACHE + STOMACHE

what weather is this?

suddenly hot till boom and suddenly cold till boom~

how come like that?

headache and stomache again.

so i plan to take a nap to let my brain rest for a while.

but~ suckx .

the sound of lighting woke me up!

ish~ hate most.

actually since i'm just a kid,

i affraid to hear these sounds.

i hate lighting.

i have no idea with my headache.

what can i do?

i can't sleep just because of those XX lighting.

wake up and start doing my revision.

but, i did nothing.

sat there and dreaming.

lol.

no mood to study at all.

don't know what i read today.

=(

just finished search those infromation from web.

sigh``

just finish my sivik project.

lol.

hate most!

search here search there but finally i also don't know why i need to those these.

it not useful to me also.

waste my time only.

better i use those time to do my revision.

promise myself to get better results in my trial exam comparing with mid-year.

3A1==> at least 6A1 in trial

haha.

i think i'm dreaming now.

but i will try my best!

XD

weeeeeeee

not feeling well again

);

nights.

later have 3 tuitions.

=(

12.38a.m

16.08.2009

KERAJINAN

my new look. fresh?

know this morale value?

but

all of this seems like won't happened on me

i'm too lazy to do my revision

i am damn lazy now

kerajinan

USAHA YANG BERTERUSAN PENUH DENGAN SEMANGAT

KETEKUNAN, KECEKALAN, KEGIGIHAN, DEDIKASI DAN BERDAYA MAJU

DALAM MELAKUKAN SESUATU PERKARA

i never full-filled with one of those above there

sigh

pity me

i already saw the time table of trial exam

start from 1st of september until 29th of september

duh

how come

dead

pity me

[cry]

my birthday

sigh

can't celebrate this year

on 14th of sep

my birthday

but i need to sit for me exam

3 physics paper

is it my birthday present for this year?

T_T

sigh

hope that i can score well in my exam ler

account

physics

chemistry

biology

bm

bi

bc

modern maths

additional maths

est

history

morale

need to study now

Chee Lok Yee

ganbateh

cut my hair again

duh

my besties say that i become a child again

look young again

is it?

8.28pm

09.08.2009

UNTITLE

this week

i was busy in interview others for over taking my pose.

argh~

i not so satisfied with their presentation.

maybe they really try their best already.

i just hope that the next chairman will care for my club.

hope that they come for interviewed is not for poses.

i promise myself to start doing my revision this week.

but, i fail to do it.

i just study one chapter of my chemistry only.

sigh```

how lazy i am...

i must start my revision!!

if not sure i get a poor result in my exam.

i wish that it won't happen on me.

somebody say he loves me.

argh```

why he don't want to accept the fact?

still don't want to give up?

i prefer to be friend more than couple.

because we really not suit for each other.

please just respect to my decision.

weird~

another guy.

my best friend told me that he like me too.

he say he have some feel with me.

omg~

how come it happened together?

faint.

but, i think maybe he just joking.

bla bla bla.

whatever lur~

don't think that it's real.

haha.

forget about it.

because i just love my spm!

i need to love it.

XD

or maybe i just love him.

JUST HIM!

i lost my way.

i lost my mind.

i gonna be mad soon.

argh~

i feel stress actually.

too many subjects i not understand.

how should i sit for my spm?

i want to score well!

i'm stupid.

i'm regreting for playing all the time.

and now.

i feel hopeless.

sigh```

love stuff not suit for me right now.

sorry for disappointed you guys.

but, i hopw that we just friends for now.

sorry for that.

or please forget me and find another girl.

many girl is better than me.

and i'm not as good as you think.

i love myself.

muahahaha.

tomorrow will be yi man's birthday.

hope that our friendship will last forever.

i love you so much!

6 of us will be best friends forever.

CHEE LOK YEE

YAN JOE KEE

LEE JIA HUI

CHONG YI MAN

YEONG YUN NAM

SIN SEE TENG

WE WILL BE BESTIES FOREVER

** OUR PROMISE **

new day for a new hope.

i hope that today i can be more hardworking than before.

this is my hope for today.

hehe.

XD

爱情，两好三坏

（九把刀）

this novel is quite interesting.

just finish reading it.

"YOU ARE THE APPLE OF MY EYE"

i learn this from this book.

haha.

is time for being a pig.

muahaha.

nights lur~

2.29am

02.08.2009