really need money indeed!

how come recently i will be such poor?!

lolx

almost bankrap soon!

started to have a revision for myself..

although just a little bit..

but, it is a good starting point right?

faint..

i still in lazy mood.

holidays!

but, my holidays end up soon..

very very soon.

need to face my stpm SOON!

need to back to my "lovely school" SOON!

be an upper 6 student SOON!

suddenly, i feel stress..

because, i'm too lazy to do my revision..

>.<

ish!

i think i am the laziest student in my class..

argh~

wish that my holidays still have a long time to go..

but, for now!

i need $$

i want to go for vacation!

i don't want just window shopping!

ish~~~~

stop here.

bye.

3.16pm

16.12.2010

used to the life without many messages.

finally, i used to it!

sometimes, maybe i really feel moody for this.

but, it's okay for me already.

i can handle it better than before.

never have any argument between both of us before.

a good thing right?

haha

^^

recently, i need money indeed!

why?

because go for vacation.

change spectacles.

a blahs.

cost me a lot of money!

ish >.<

how poor i am now.

T.T

who can introduce any part time job for me?

besides waitress..

because my skin is sensitive.

>.<

i need $$ now!

urgh~

8.41pm

09.12.2010

i really thought that the problems between us had totally settle...
but, it's just an another new starting point between us..
tired...
what make me feel so tired?
maybe i know the reason..
maybe i don't..

happy moment had passed..

i never say to anyone about this..

keep in my heart..

because i believe that all of this will end someday..

i'm still waiting for the day~

once, my feeling had passed..

that's the end?

i don't know..

holidays begin..

woohoo!

will have a vacation with my classmate soon..

CAMERON!

i am coming soon!

2.32 am

21.11.2010

once, i read jia ying's blog..
my mood effected..
i start to countdown the days that she need to left here..
i feel so happy that she able to study oversea..
she ables to go for her dream..
but.. i really not willing for her to go so far away..
she is one of my best friends since form 3..

the days we always chit chat and play in "OUR" storeroom..

the days we tease each others

the days we skip our class together just for chit-chatting..

the days we having marching practice together..

the days we gossip others..

the days we said heart words to each others..

the days i cried on her shoulder..

she are the one..

that always accompany me when i was form 3..

she always comfort me and cheer me up!

she is the one who always help me to pass my days that full with tears..

a girl..

that always smile silly..

scratch her head when not understanding something..

will always trust what others say..

although it's just a joke..

that her..

my little jia ying..

how cute is she..

haha

xD

i like to play joke on her..

looking to her shy face..

>.<

how bad i am

=D

since, she left our secondary school..

we are getting less and less to contact each other..

but, she still are the one of my best friend..

because we have the same memories between each other..

OUR PONTENG DAYS!!!!

muahahahaha xD

anyway,

jia ying！

wish you all the best in the future..

=)

remember,

i am still here for you when you need any listener..

because i am lok

=)

haha

2.48 am

31.10.2010

settled my problem.
a new life and journey between both of us..
i am happy enough now!
because there is no more problem between both of us.
thanks GOD.
=)

for next of my topic that i wish to share with you guys is :

ta dra~~~

my exam result.

although just like SHIT!

but, still bit satisfied in it..

need to be more hardworking in the future.

as what poeple always say

NO PAIN, NO GAIN

muet : 194 (Band 4)

pengajian am : passed

chemistry : passed

mathematics : failed

feel sorry that i am not writing out my "pretty" result..

haha

1st time, i fail in my maths subject..

shame on me..

but, form 6's maths is totally difficult..

can't blame on anyone..

because i am lazy in doing exercise..

need to improve in this..

wow!

another hand is..

haha xD

i score 194 marks in my muet.

although it isn't a high mark..

but,

i am the top three in my class..

woohoo! congrates to myself..

need to pay m0re effort on it..

to score a higher marks!

i believed that i can do it..

next..

nothing to say about..

just..

i know i need to be more hardworking from now..

for my next government examination

STPM

but i haven't prepare to work hard yet.

but, i sure i will do this very soon..

a promise to myself..

for my future..

nothing to crap about..

just stop here..

nights buddy..

=)

keep on diet if i can.

pay more effort in my academics if i can trow off my lazy habits.

chee lok yee, ganbateh!

2.03 a.m

31.10.2010

exam exam and exam

my brain is blank without any knowledge.

damn!

i am stupid!
no doubt..

ish

>.<

how come i choose form 6 as my next journey?

shit!

the syllabus are too difficult for me

and, i am too lazy for studying.

is time to face the death!

feel despair

for everything.

luckily,

i have my 5 besties and my lovely family that always stand by me.

without them..

i will lost my way.

finally..

i heard the heart's word of him.

i cried.

i was so sad.

i need my besties at that moment..

i need them much.

>.<

i decided many thins at that particular moment.

i choose to be silent.

i appologized for nothing.

exam

just go away from me.

i have no any reading feel.

on the coming days.

i need to be more hardworking

because study is my responsibility.

for my pretty future.

stop crying

no more tears allowed here!

i need to be more and more tough to face the problem in the future alone.

8.32 pm

24.10.2010

不眠夜

好失望

没有人真正了解我

怎么

我在你们的心目中是如此

他

真正伤透了我

让我觉得没有自尊

让我无地自容

不明地掉泪

口说失望

其实心有多痛

你知道吗？

没有亲口听到他说那么一句话

如果有，我到底会怎样？

一句话

足以让我失望到无言

明，你不明白我心情。。

我可能能理解

可是

我认识了你那么久

想不到忍让会给你带来如此的感觉

仍然

是我的问题

好想反驳说

“我不是！我不是你说的那种人！”

但是

我竟然无力

流着泪

回想起一大堆东西

知觉得自己真的好傻

泪一直流

只觉得心越来越痛

回忆起一段不该想起的回忆

那段日子

那些时刻

好虚幻的回忆

好遥远的记忆

歌曲

嘲笑着我

向我示威的说

我是多么的失败

从来

不奢望你会为我说好话

但

没想到

你反而会认同他的说法

怎么他还是为我的心

开了一个裂缝

为我的心再次倒下血腥的红色液体

记住了这句话

记住了

我曾经以为当他误会了我

我会想尽办法去解释

可是

我没有

无力解释

不想解释

有用吗？

到最后还不是会被觉得自己在为自己辩护

自讨苦吃的事

不会再去做

当初是自己单纯

还是

无知

失望的感觉

是什么感觉？

我真的好失望

不过

有没有加点好在乎的感觉？

谁懂

划下眼泪的那刻

心死了

没有想到自己在他心目中变得如此糟糕

变得如此低贱

变得如此

这一刻

心在告诉我

“我死了”

为一部份的记忆还是回忆

而死了

会不会再复活?

呵呵

倒数自己的生日

嘉莹，谢谢你的礼物..

12.09.2010

02.38am

记住了今天