心情

飘浮不定

放弃和继续

其实

只是只在一句之差

你

这两天对我说的话

我紧紧记住了

我不会忘记

对

你说我们不能再向以前看了

我不能否认这句话是错的

既然

你酱说

我

也不会有异议

因为这是你要的

我说我想放弃了

好累

没有被顾及的感受

真的会很伤

我维护自己的感受维护到累了

你不保护我的感受

我惟有让自己的感觉不被受欺负

我对着你

竟然有种如同陌生人的感觉

淡淡的

此刻

觉得好舒服

在此刻的你

才是最在乎我的你

可是

是不是真的迟了？

这次的你

还是说了同一句

"我真的知错了"

看着你睡在我的大腿上

我的眼泪

哗啦啦的滑落

心真的很痛

那一刻

真的真的很痛

揉着你的头发

望着你

犹豫了很久

到最后还是说了一句

“我想放弃了”

不是我不坚持

是我坚持了多久

你是真的不知道

还是你选择不当一回事

最后

我松开你的手

你第一次把我的手捉得那么紧

真的只是第一次

那刻的我

手越被捉得紧

心就越痛

好平静

现在的心情总算平静下来

静得觉得很安宁

下着雨

我爱雨天

滴滴答答的

我知道眼泪不能洗走我的悲伤

我也知道雨天不能洗走我的伤痛

但是

它们能让我的那颗心比较平复

此刻

跟他犹如朋友间的交谈

我们的交谈里

都好平静

舒服

我舍不得

真的

所以

我没有狠心的做决定

如果

你真的在乎

那

我相信你会把我的信心重拾

会想尽办法为我的心疗伤

如果

你真的有心

15.08.2010
SUNDAY

01.07am

我要被爱
我要好好地爱

我要的
你知道吗？
我要的
你收到了吗？

你
忘记了
你答应过我不再对我发脾气
你
忘记了
你答应过我不再用不好的语气对我说话

这一切
就只是当时为了安抚我心情的话语吗？
难道
这一切的这一切
都只是虚假的？

这两天
你又开始了
难道
我的感受
就只不过如此？
难道
我的感受
就只是我的感受？

到底
当一个人累到极点时
会变成怎样？
会变成
坚强？
懦弱？
麻木？
习惯？
沉默？
还是，无力反驳？

我
还是我
原有的那个我

你
不是你
不是一开始我认识的你
不是从前的那个你

我们
还是我们吗？

10.40p.m
03.07.2010

14th - 16th of July will be my first test in my form 6 life.
my monthly test.
>.<

long time never having exam or test.
i'm not used to it.
need to start study study and study.
i want to try my best to get a good result in it.
i promised myself not to get a worst result in it.
my first test~
sigh```

finally, make a decision to take both subjects.
but, just for temporary.
i will decide later.
=)
if i am hardworking enough, maybe i will take both.
haha
xD
maybe~but, the percentage of happening this is lower than 0.1%.
because i am a lazy student.
>.<
haha

but, i promised.
i will be more hardworking.
haha
xD
recently, noticed that i become more hardworking than before.
although i am still the lazy girl.

i want to score at least B in all subjects in the coming test.
hope that my wish will come true.
=D

and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my pretty kee.
yesterday night, all of us celebrated birthday for her.
countdown for her.
haha
xD
6 of us captured together again.
weeeeeeee
<3
happy sei!

10.21 p.m
03.07.2010

pity me.
my picnic plan had canceled.
due to i have to attend the motor course.
damn!
the uncle never tell me that i need to go ipoh on saturday.
my plan had spoiled by him!!!
>.<

you all heard before?
a girl that never ride bicycle before go to learn how to ride a motor?
ish~~
i hurt my leg.
i really don't know how to ride at all.
damn!
quite moody and sad.

i can't ride normally.
>.<
almost fall from the motor.
ish~~~
pity me.

na na na~
forget about it.
>.<
i want to be more hardworking.
start to aim for my stpm now!!
weeee~~
i want to score well in it.
>.<
ish~

chee lok yee
ganbateh nehx.

08.17pm
21.06.2010

full.
just finish my delicious dinner
ASAM LAKSA MAGGIE MEE
=.=

tomorrow will go to picnic with my boy and my besties.
weeeeeee
sure i will have a nice day.
ngek ngek.
xD

but, i need to prepare sandwich.
lolx.
sui kee bully me.
>.<
she prepared drinks for us.
T.T

i not sure what shape will my sandwich is at the end.
but, haha.
i sure that i can make a delicious sandwich for you guys.
weeeee
if not tasty, hiak hiak.
you all also need to eat it.

force you guys eat.
hiak hiak.
tomorrow wanna capture many photos sin.
hehe
xD
let even, rachel, jia hui and yun nam envy har sin.
blek.
=P
who call you guys don't join us.
heng!
:P
hahahahahahahahahahahaha


end up here.

09.57pm
18.06.2010

i promised myself need to study during this holidays.
but, i fail to do it.
until now, i also never read any books.
except those books that i need to use in tuition classes.

argh~
how come i'm so lazy.
i broke my promise.

i just study my undang only.
finally, i took my undang test.
i passed with flying colours.
haha.
i passed with 49 questions.
i just did wrong one.
=D
weeeeeee

stop here.
nothing to write anymore.
nights buddy.

i love my baby.
i love my dear.
i love my ji mui,
i love my baby dear ji mui.
=)



17.06.2010
10.41pm

tired day.

recently, flu and flu again.
ish!!

are you getting bored?
are you getting tired?
are you not so care anymore?

ish```
i hate this feelings
i hate i hate i hate!!!
what can i do?

cry?
shout?
or???

keep in my heart.
all in my heart.
>.<

01.31a.m
09.06.2010